A very Murphy Valentine's
by Albertson
Summary: On the week before Valentine's Day, Milo and friends are eager to find their friend a date, believing that no-one should be alone on that day, while also sorting out their own Valentine's plans. What can go wrong? Around Milo, it's best not to ask this question. Meanwhile, Dakota tries his hand at winning Savannah's heart, again.


**A very Murphy Valentine's**

It was the week before Valentine's Day, and Milo and Zack were busy preparing their dates with Amanda and Melissa respectively. In fact, Milo was on the phone to the restaurant where he planned to take Amanda right now, going over the Murphy's Law counter-measures he had arranged with the establishment. It was Milo's first Valentine's Day with an actual date, and he wanted it to go off without a hitch. After all, he is dating a known perfectionist. Zack, on the other hand, was taking Melissa to the movies. They would not be double dating with Milo and Amanda, so there was no need to fortify the place. Milo hung up the phone and joined Amanda and his friends in the Murphy house living room.

"Well, the fortifications are in place, and the restaurant manager assures me he has the fire department on speed-dial. We're good to go" Milo assured Amanda.

"I still can't believe you had to call the place six weeks in advance, and not to reserve a table, but to actually let them know you'd be coming, so they could prepare defences. Doesn't that bother you at all?" inquired Amanda. Despite Milo's kind-hearted nature, people could not help but duck under the nearest object nailed to the ground whenever he came by, or shuffle away awkwardly.

"No, I'm used to it by now, plus it has perks. I haven't had to wait in line for a very long time" Milo answered. Melissa had to chuckle at this part.

"It's true. Milo's first Love Handel concert had a ticket line that practically vanished when he showed up. It was fun, until the stage flooded, and the ceiling lights fell down, not to mention the amps blowing up" recalled Melissa.

"So, what movie are you two seeing?" Milo asked, wanting to change the subject.

"The new Stumbleberry Finkbat movie. For some reason, Melissa has a thing for guys running around in tunics" Zack replied.

"Must've been from that time we got stuck at that convention where the giant rabbit monster thing showed up" Milo recounted.

"Good times" Melissa mused. While the others were chuckling at Milo and Melissa's stories, Milo could not help but notice someone wasn't as happy as they were.

"You OK, Shane?" Milo asked, concerned.

"It's nothing, really. I hope you guys enjoy yourselves. It sounds like a lot of fun" Shane answered, a little depressed.

"No date, huh? That must sting. I'm sure the right boy will come along some time soon" Zack consoled.

"Yeah, just because it didn't work out with me doesn't mean you should give up" added Milo.

"That's sweet of you to say, but when it comes to this stuff, I'm hopeless" Shane countered.

"So are we, yet we manage" said Milo, but Shane was still not smiling.

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I really need to be on my own right now. See you later" Shane finished, and he left the house to walk home.

"Gosh, now I feel terrible. Here we were talking about our dates, forgetting that he didn't have one" Milo said, remorsefully.

"I know what you mean. I've been there, the only singleton amongst a group with dates" Zack added.

"I know what we should do today. We should find him a date for Valentine's Day so he doesn't feel left out" Milo resolved. Amanda had her reservations.

"Are you sure about this? Matchmaking can have serious consequences if you fail. It could be seen as trying to interfere with someone's life" Amanda cautioned.

"Come on, how hard can it be?" asked Milo, rhetorically.

"I hate it when he asks that question" Zack stated, bluntly. Melissa, however, took a more positive approach.

"Challenge accepted" Melissa confidently declared.

"Do you even know where to start looking for potential matches?" inquired Amanda.

"Now that you mention it, no, I don't" replied Milo.

"We're also short of options. We don't know anyone else who bats for that team" summarised Zack.

"I'm not giving up, despite the odds. I'll find Shane a boyfriend if it's the last thing I do" Melissa asserted.

"After all, no-one should be alone on Valentine's Day" Milo agreed, and everyone started forming a plan to find Shane a date.

On the other side of town, Cavendish and Dakota were perusing around the mall, taking in all the Valentine's Day decorations. Dakota, in particular, was looking for something to, hopefully, impress a certain female time traveller he had his eye on.

"I'm telling you, just give up. She is never, nor will she ever be, interested in you" Cavendish reasoned.

"Awww, c'mon. Where's the fun in giving up at the first hurdle? Half, if not all, of the thrill of romance is in the chase" Dakota countered.

"There's winning hearts, then there's bashing your head against a brick wall. In Savannah's case, she will most likely bash your head against a brick wall to save you the trouble of doing it yourself" Cavendish responded.

"You say that now, but when she gets a load of what I'm offering, she's sure to come around" Dakota said.

"For the record, I'm only agreeing to tag along just to see what she does to you" Cavendish conceded.

"Your confidence is greatly appreciated. For that, you can be best man at the wedding" Dakota replied.

"Or the one giving the eulogy at your funeral" Cavendish muttered to himself. Dakota spied a particularly bright-coloured bouquet of flowers and some chocolates advertised as so tasty no-one can resist them. This, he thought, was his best option.

"Getting these for the lady in your life, mister? She must be quite a catch" the cashier remarked, upon processing the purchase.

"Not yet, she isn't" Dakota replied.

"Oh, the old-fashioned flowers and candy to win her heart, nice. These days, everyone's meeting online. No market for grand gestures anymore, sweetie. The old ways are dying" the cashier complimented Dakota.

"No reason why we can't learn lessons from the past" Dakota mused. The cashier laughed at this, and Cavendish and Dakota left. Before they could find Savannah to execute Dakota's poorly conceived plan to win her heart, Cavendish saw Milo and his friends wandering about the place.

"Is it just me, or do Milo and his friends keep showing up wherever we are? It's like some invisible force is binding us together" Cavendish wondered.

"It's called the plot. Murphy's Law only destroys stuff, remember?" Dakota reminded. Upon hearing this, Cavendish ushered Dakota out of the mall before they got caught up in whatever the 'Law' had to throw at Milo this week.

"What makes you think we'll find matches here?" inquired Zack.

"Simple, regardless of preference, everyone will want to get their special someone a gift to celebrate Valentine's Day" responded Amanda.

"Fair enough, where do we start?" replied Melissa.

"Let's split up. Milo and I will head to the candy and flower section, while Zack and Melissa go to the greeting cards stands. Move out" Amanda outlined, and everyone went to their assigned stores. When Milo and Amanda arrived at their store, Milo happened upon some coconut and caramel treats Amanda loved so much. He bought a box to surprise Amanda with on the actual day.

"You know, I just sold a box of these to another customer looking to impress a lady. Here I thought the old ways were dead" the cashier remarked.

"I'm a sucker for the classics" Milo responded.

"Hey, aren't you that dangerously unlucky kid I keep hearing about? Should I be ducking for cover right about now?" the cashier asked. Just as she asked this, a couple of shelves collapsed, then some bulbs burst, and finally a water pipe leaked.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did" Milo answered. Amanda then came up to him.

"Everybody's screaming in terror, so we probably won't find any matches here. We should go see how Zack and Melissa are doing" Amanda observed.

"Is this your Valentine? She is sweet to stick with someone with your 'condition'. My advice, never let her go, she seems like a keeper" the cashier butted in.

"Thanks, that's very nice to hear" Amanda replied.

"Did I hear you two right, that you were looking for matches? Who exactly are you trying to set up?" asked the cashier.

"Our friend, Shane. He's lonely, so we thought we'd find him a Valentine of his own" Milo responded, not sure if the cashier was being helpful or nosy.

"Isn't that cute. What sort of girl is he into? We have gifts for all sorts in here" offered the cashier.

"He's not into girls. In fact, I had to compete with him for Milo, here" Amanda corrected.

"Is that so? Well, aren't you a charmer. We had someone in here not too long ago like that. Seemed pretty dejected, though. I offered to help him find a gift for any lady friends he had his eye on, only to tell me he wasn't into them like that" the cashier recollected. Thinking that this could be a solid lead in their quest, Milo and Amanda showed her a picture of Shane on their phones. The cashier said he wasn't the boy she saw, but she didn't get his name either. She did, however, remember enough to give a description. It may have been small, but it was a start.

At the greetings card store, Zack and Melissa were doing some head-hunting of their own. In the store, Zack saw a giant teddy bear that he thought Melissa would like, bearing a 'Be mine' Valentine's message. He bought it for his date, and while Melissa liked the bear, she was quick to remind him they were here for another reason.

"Still, no reason we can't enjoy each other's company for a bit, right?" Zack reasoned. Melissa chuckled.

"Don't worry, once this is done, we'll enjoy each other's company all day long. But first, we have a match to make" Melissa replied. Just as it seemed their quest was hopeless, Melissa saw someone leaving the store looking rather alone.

"Another loner. This holiday must seem like a double-edged sword sometimes. Hope he finds the right girl soon" Zack said, in a sympathetic tone.

"I don't think that's the problem" came a voice from behind them. It was a store attendant, looking for something to do because no-one looked like they needed help right now.

"You know him?" asked Melissa.

"Not personally, though I do see him regularly, browsing the card shelves. Never buys any, just looks, sighs heavily then leaves the store. I can set my watch around him" answered the attendant.

"Why would it not be a problem for him to find the right girl?" quizzed Zack.

"It's the cards he's always staring at that gives him away. Come and have a look" clarified the attendant. He showed Zack and Melissa the cards the mystery boy looks at. All of them were specifically aimed at greeting people's boyfriends. This, Zack and Melissa thought, was the break in the case they needed. When pressed for details, the attendant said he did not know his name. Knowing what he looked like, though, was enough. Zack and Melissa left, and linked up with Milo and Amanda. Both groups shared their stories, and resolved to find this mystery boy, thinking that he was their best chance at a match.

At the park, Brick and Savannah were on pistachio duty, again. Since Cavendish and Dakota seemed intent on destroying the very nut they had been sent to protect, Brick and Savannah had to take over for them. Both found this set of circumstances incredibly frustrating. Not too long ago, they were ensuring the common cold was cured at the right time, and had infiltrated a top secret organisation. To be reduced to this was nothing short of humiliating, and they hated every second of it.

"If I ever get my hands on Cavendish and Dakota, I will make them beg me to go back in time and make sure they were never born" seethed Savannah.

"Times like this make me wonder if Excalibur has any openings" spat Brick.

"What is the point of these nuts, anyway? It's just a green nut, what makes them so special? Isn't sending agents to preserve an irrelevant species of greenery a waste of resources?" asked Savannah, rhetorically.

"Speaking of wastes of resources, here they come now" retorted Brick, who saw Cavendish and Dakota coming. Dakota was holding a heart-shaped box of chocolates in one hand, and a bouquet of flowers in the other.

"You've got to be kidding" sighed Savannah. It was no secret she disliked Dakota especially, for making gestures like this. Right now, in the mood she's in, Dakota will be lucky to make it out of this encounter alive.

"Hey, Savannah. There's something I wanted to-" Dakota began.

"Listen here, you out-of-shape, useless, fashionably challenged windbag! Because of you and your partner, we have to sell green nuts on the street, when we could be saving the world and stopping World War Six. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pummel you senseless right here, right now!" Savannah demanded.

"Maybe these will cheer you up" Dakota consoled, and offered her the flowers and chocolate. Savannah was having none of it.

"Get away from me! The next time you come along and try to cheer me up, I'll knock you so hard your brain will be doing acrobatics at a circus!" Savannah finished, and she repeatedly smacked Dakota around with the bouquet until he dropped the chocolates and got out of there.

"I must say, that was especially savage. Usually, Savannah's better at keeping her cool than that. You OK?" observed Cavendish, and attempting to console Dakota, who didn't say anything and just walked away.

"Can we just not talk about it. You were right, Savannah doesn't just dislike me, she hates me" Dakota said, sadly.

"To be fair, both of them hate us. After all, we are the reason they have such a dismal assignment" reasoned Cavendish.

"Still, she didn't need to be so harsh. Those gifts set me back thirty dollars" whined Dakota. Cavendish couldn't argue there. Savannah was usually more cool, calm and collected. Then again, any amount of time on a lowly nut-saving job would drive anyone mad.

Back at the park, onlookers were staring at Brick and Savannah, who was still fuming from her encounter with Dakota. Brick would try calming her down, but past experience had shown that, when Savannah got like this, it was best to steer clear. It didn't happen often, though. Savannah noticed the chocolates Dakota left behind, and while some were on the park floor, she thought she would have at least one that stayed in the box. They weren't bad, and the flowers had been a sweet gesture. Maybe, she thought, she was too hard on Dakota. Once Brick had noticed she was noticably calmer, he decided to speak at last.

"Was that really necessary?" Brick questioned. Savannah took a while before responding to her partner's line of questioning.

"Honestly, no. But they are the reason we're stuck selling nuts. I just miss the good old days when we were saving lives, stopping wars" Savannah pined.

"Those were the days. But we go where the boss man tells us to, no questions asked. We may not like it, but it is our job" Brick reasoned. Savannah hated it when he was right, but she found it hard to argue.

"I'll find Dakota and put things right, but not a word of this to anyone, got it?" Savannah resolved, and Brick agreed not to tell anyone about Savannah's moment of weakness. Just then, Brick saw two youths they recognised from a past mission.

"Those kids again, look there. The one who was with Cavendish and Dakota, with the backpack. Up for a little revenge for those rats?" inquired Brick.

"You know me way too well" Savannah answered, and they advanced on the kids. Zack, noticing this, alerted the others.

"Not you two again! Haven't you got some accounting to do?" Zack asked, alarmed. The others turned around, and while Melissa was certainly not happy to see them again, Milo and Amanda were lost for words.

"Care to fill us in, Zack?" Milo inquired.

"We'll be asking the questions, kid. First question, what were you doing with Cavendish and Dakota the day our ride got totalled. Actually; just hold still. I interrogate better when the other person is tied up" Savannah started. Milo had heard enough.

"Hold on, we were just here to find a potential date for our friend for Valentine's Day. I'm sorry your ride got destroyed, but it wasn't our fault. We were saving the world from domination by pistachio people" Milo explained.

"Not this again. Look, kid. You've got a good imagination, but pistachio people, really? You're just as crazy as your time travelling friends" Brick retorted.

"This reunion has been touching, but we really need to leave, now" Zack rebuffed, and the four kids ran in the opposite direction, with Brick and Savannah hot on their heels. Just when it seemed like Brick and Savannah would catch up, an unknown figure motioned for them to hide in the woods. Milo and friends ran into the woods, not knowing what they would find, but it was better than being caught by two accountants. Once they had lost Brick and Savannah in the underbrush, the figure spoke at last.

"Don't worry, I know every inch of these forests. We'll get out the other end where they can't see us" the unknown boy assured.

"Wait a sec, weren't you at the greeting card store a few hours ago?" inquired Melissa.

"Yes, I had heard you were looking for me. What I want to know is why?" the boy half asked, half demanded. After explaining the situation to the boy, who introduced himself as Mark, he began to understand their plight. "So, you went to all this trouble to get your friend a date for Valentine's? And you think I'm the early favourite? Flattering" Mark summarised.

"Is that a yes?" Melissa quizzed.

"You're the first people who have tried to get me a date that wasn't a girl. I have to ask, what gave me away?" Mark inquired.

"You weren't exactly subtle. Staring at the boyfriend section on the card shelf, telling the cashier you weren't into girls like that. It was obvious to anyone with eyes" Zack answered.

"True. If this Shane character is anything like you, I wouldn't mind meeting him. Will you introduce us?" Mark pleaded.

"As soon as we get out of this forest" Milo responded. Once they were out, Milo and friends made their way back to the Murphy house, where they were greeted by Brick and Savannah.

"So, your name is Milo Murphy? You've got quite a reputation around here. It was only a matter of time until someone talked" Savannah explained.

"We have a score to settle with your friends here, how they set rats and a wolf loose on us in the sewers" Brick added. Just then, Cavendish and Dakota showed up.

"That's enough, Savannah! Milo is not to blame here. He only tagged along with us that time by accident. You want to blame anyone for your current circumstances, blame me" asserted Dakota.

"Look, Dakota. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have. So, please, let me do my job" Savannah begged, almost. This time, Dakota was standing up to her.

"No, I won't let you harm these kids. They have done nothing to you" Dakota insisted, and got between Savannah and the kids. It was clear Dakota wasn't backing down, so Savannah stood aside.

"Dakota, I wanted to-" Savannah began.

"No, I get it now. You two think we're responsible for your current assignment, and in a way, you're right. But we did what we had to do to protect the future. I'm sorry you were dealt this hand, but it was necessary" Dakota interrupted.

"What I wanted to say was I'm sorry for earlier. I was frustrated, angry and irritable. But I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Maybe you could tell me what happened over a reconciliatory dinner?" Savannah offered, which Dakota happily accepted, and everyone who wasn't invited left the house.

"You lead quite an interesting life, Milo" Mark observed.

"You have no idea" Zack added. Milo called Shane to have him come over, which got him intrigued. Once Shane arrived, Milo introduced him to Mark, and explained what he and the others had been up to.

"You really shouldn't have done this, but I'm glad you did" Shane thanked Milo and friends; and spent the rest of the time getting to know Mark. It turns out the two have quite a lot in common. They have similar hobbies, musical tastes and share the love of adventure which would normally come with being Milo's friend.

"Just promise me something, Shane. When you tell Mark you love him, don't do it by throwing him into the back of a truck like you did me" Milo said, and everyone laughed.

After what seemed like a long week, Valentine's Day eventually rolled around, and everyone was getting ready for their dates that night. Amanda tucked away the treat box Milo got her, to save for after their candle-lit dinner at the restaurant, which more resembled a fortress due to the reinforcing against the 'Law'. At their table, Milo was telling Amanda the story of how he travelled into the future, and fought a family of pistachians.

"All that time, you never thought to look up your own family tree while you were there. Weren't you curious as to what legacy you'd leave behind?" inquired Amanda.

"Why spoil the ending? Besides, the present is much more fun, anyway" Milo responded, in a flirtatious manner. Amanda chuckled. Once the bill was paid, Milo and Amanda made their way to her place, to tuck into some well-deserved treats. It had gotten to the point where Amanda was falling asleep in Milo's arms. When this happened, Milo thought back to the dream world he was trapped in, where he was an adult, married with two kids. He remembered the promise he made, to make that family real some day.

"It may take a while, but we'll get there" Milo thought to himself, kissed Amanda's forehead, and fell in the same slumber as she did. Or at least he would have, had Amanda not woken up and pulled him into a deep kiss. Once that was done, the pair finally fell asleep.

Elsewhere, Zack and Melissa were enjoying the new Stumbleberry Finkbat movie. Zack is not quite sure how she managed it, but Melissa convinced him to dress up in a tunic for the show. Zack felt ridiculous, but if it made Melissa happy, it was worth it.

"Seriously, how does anyone get around in these things? And what is with these ears? I feel like a Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons playing piece" Zack remarked.

"I like it, makes you look heroic" Melissa complimented. She had dressed up like a princess who had been locked away in a tower, waiting for the knight in shining armour to rescue her. Zack could not help but admire her garb, which was probably Melissa's intentions. Once they got home, Zack and Melissa engaged in a little role play, Zack being the hero who kisses the princess to wake her from her eternal slumber, only once the kiss had been planted, both involved couldn't stop themselves from getting into a full blown make-out session. The giant bear Zack got Melissa held a place of honour on top of Melissa's chest of drawers. Overall, it was a fun night, and Zack and Melissa shared a night-cap afterwards.

Shane and Mark had gone mini-golfing at a venue with odd-looking holes, not at al like the average mini-golf court you-d find on the beachside. According to the owners, two boys and their friends built it one summer, and just left it here for them to run, free of charge. Also, according to the owners, since those two boys built it, business was booming. It seemed like the boys has what he called the 'Midas touch', not that he was complaining. Shane had been telling Mark how he and Milo met, how they first became friends. Mark could not believe his ears.

"You had to round up all those pets? I had heard that Milo was unlucky, but I never thought a literal path of wanton destruction follows him everywhere. I always thought everyone was exaggerating" Mark responded.

"Now that you and he are acquainted, you'll soon learn that it's no exaggeration. Just please don't yell at people for ducking in cover or running away when he approaches. He really doesn't mind" Shane urged.

"Noted. I can see why you liked him, but enough about Milo, this is our night" Mark flirted. Shane putted the last hole, and buzzers signifying a hole in one were blaring.

"I really did score a hole in one, didn't I?" Shane asked, seductively.

"We both did" Mark answered, equally as flirtatiously, and the two shared their first kiss, and didn't care who saw.

At a different restaurant to Milo and Amanda, Dakota and Savannah were discussing how exactly the events of their re-assignments took place. Given the details as to how Savannah's ride got destroyed, she found herself believing Dakota more and more, if only to give herself a reason to hate pistachios even more than she already did. Nevertheless, Savannah wanted to make one thing very clear.

"Just so you know, this isn't a date, just an apology. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered, but I'm also a very career-driven woman. Romance is just not on my mind right now" Savannah let Dakota down gently.

"Yeah, I get it. Plus, Cavendish told me the agency has a rule against dating co-workers, which technically, we are. So, can we agree to be friends?" Dakota requested.

"I'd like nothing more" Savannah agreed. Just then, Savannah got a call from HQ.

"Savannah, good. You and Brick are off pistachio duty. Turns out I needn't have bothered trying to preserve it myself. Take a look at this" Mr. Block briefed; and sent Savannah a file. When she and Dakota read it, it looked like a biographical file. The two read intently.

'When it comes to the great environmental achievements of history, none should look further than the initiatives of Daniel Murphy. Because of his tireless work preserving the life of this planet, as well as working with Professor Time and the great minds known as Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher, Daniel has breathed new life into once extinct species, such as the dodo and the Tasmanian tiger wolf, and rehoused them with great success. Not limited to the preservation of animal life, Daniel Murphy has also spearheaded the projects that saw our oceans devoid of plastic, the closing down of toxic landfills to make way for plentiful and affordable renewable energy sources, and perhaps his greatest achievement to date, the clean-up of Chernobyl, a land once thought doomed not to house life for 20,000 years. The plants he saved include, but are not limited to, the pistachio nut, various species of coral and the ever-romantic rose flower. When asked, Daniel says his greatest inspiration comes from his parents, Milo and Amanda Murphy. Milo, he says, taught him to never give in to despair, no matter how hopeless the situation appears to be. His mother, Amanda, taught him to never give up on a plan, even when the biggest of monkey wrenches is thrown into the works. The beautiful scenery that Daniel helped create can also be seen in art museums, the landscapes lovingly captured in paintings by his sister, Kathy Murphy. Once thought to be a family plagued with a curse and to be avoided for one's own safety, the Murphys are now seen as a blessing to humankind, and an example on which all people will be set.'

"Best not tell Milo this. It'll go to his head" Dakota joked. Savannah agreed, and the two head back to receive new assignments. Upon reading that the Murphy child will be responsible for the preservation of his favourite green nut, Mr. Block assigned Cavendish and Dakota as Milo's protectors, to ensure his son would be born. Brick and Savannah were restored to their place as world saviours. The two relished this opportunity; and were eager to get started doing what they did best, everything.

Author's note: Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. I hope you all have a good one. Behold my attempt at writing multiple pairings at once. I don't plan to make a habit of this. Forgive the pro-environmental spiel at the end, part of my inspiration for that comes from Horizon: Zero Dawn. Seriously, if you haven't played it yet, go do it now. You won't regret it, the story is one of the best I've ever experienced, and a testament to how far story-telling in games has come. The usual disclaimers, I own nothing. Disney, Dan and Swampy own Phineas and Ferb and Milo Murphy's Law. Enjoy.


End file.
